FYI everyone I’m alive and well.
Just wanted to say life is fricking gooooooooooood.
Love,
Von
FUCK MATH!
I love PI!
xo.
Von
and here’s the original…
Can’t quite discern which is my favesies.
xo.
Von
My gut has always been right. I’m intuitive. I can finish peoples sentences. I read people like books. I know who’s bad and who’s good. I know when to act on something, and when to back off. I know when people are lying to me, hiding something, or when they’re trying to manipulate me. I see through people, like a regular person looks through glass. When I meet someone I connect with, I fall, and I fall hard, happily, because it’s not often that happens, and I know it’s for good reason. I know when someone is rotten to the core, when most people would never think that about that “someone”, and every time, I’ve been right…they turned out to be fully rotten. I sense when something bad is about to happen, and when something good is about to happen. My life has been a series of VERY strange coincidences. I’ve had insanely improbable situations happen, and I don’t even bat an eye to it because it’s so common for me. My dreams come true. When I make bad decisions, I know where I’ve gone wrong, and somehow, someway, I always get back on the right track. I’ve SEEN where my life COULD have ended up, and for some fucking reason, there is always SOMETHING that happens to interfere in my life, that prevents me from going down the wrong path, even thought I fully 100% would have gone down it. I’m baffled at how I ended up where I am today, and frankly, although very thankful, and blessed, it freaks me out. Especially because I can’t control it.
Today, I feel sick to my stomach specifically about my sense of knowing. For example, it’s sort of like, how if someone has a dream their boyfriend is cheating on them, and they freak out on the boyfriend, as though he really was cheating, but it was only a dream…. It’s sort of like that for me, except I get all the details, it wasn’t just a dream and I’m right. I know timeframes, locations, without anybody telling me a goddamn thing. I don’t WANT to know these things I know. Sometimes I just wish I was utterly and totally naive. I wish that I could just know nothing, not KNOW that someone wasn’t true to me. Not have to KNOW that someone was lying to me. Maybe that would make things hurt a lot less. I ALWAYS know the truth, not because anyone’s told me, but because I just KNOW. Time and time again, I just KNOW. It’s like a fucked up psychic-ness I don’t want. I don’t know how it works and I never use it as ammunition in any arguments, I never say anything about what I know because a part of me keeps hoping that if I keep my mouth shut, it won’t end up being true… but it always is. That- and the fact that y’know, people might think I’m totally batshit crazy for being able to call someone out on something I couldn’t possibly know unless they told me. The only time I talk about it is when something is confirmed for me, because it’s so overwhelming… and lo and behold… something I already knew, that I wish I didn’t, was confirmed the other day.
And it fucking sucks. I’m sick to my stomach, and my heart aches.
I’m used to the gut wrench, but the heartache, that’s something I haven’t felt in years. I don’t know how to fix it right now.
and I wish I knew how.
xo.
Von
I’ve always had this outlook that you can do pretty much anything, and if you say you can’t, it’s bullshit. I don’t feel sorry for people who whine and bitch and moan about anything, especially things they can change but choose not to. Granted, yes, sometimes I’m guilty of bitching and moaning about stuff I can change – everyone is. I can admit it fully, but when I bitch and complain, I know the solution to my problem, it’s just not coming fast enough for me but I’m usually already working on fixing it. The way I see it, there’s solutions to all of these problems, and sometimes they’re easy solutions, and other times they’re a bit more complicated, but all in all, they’re fixable. “whaaa whaaa nobody likes me” – reevaluate your life choices and personality and adjust accordingly. “Whaaa whaaa, I’m fat” – put down the sandwich and go to the gym. “Whaaa whaaa, I’m broke” – stop spending on useless things. “Whaa whaaa, I date jerks” – set yourself some standards and stick to them. “Whaaa whaaa, I hate my job” – get a different one! You get the gist of it…
I won’t lie, I really do feel NO pity for little shits who think that whining is what makes their problem go away. Nobody’s going to fix it for you. It’s gotta come from YOU, because everyone else has their own crap to deal with and more often than not, aren’t willing to take on any more burdens.
So for everyone who whines and moans and complains and bitches and goes on and on and on and on about the SAME FUCKING PROBLEM over and over and over again to me, looking for a resolution? Shut. UP.
xo.
Von
